I'll Make a Man Out of You!
by flirtingintechnicolor
Summary: After a stressful week of studying for finals, a mischievous Blaine finds a way to lift the Warblers' spirits, whether they like it or not.


"What on Earth is he doing now?" Kurt asked wearily as Blaine switched on a recording of a drum line keeping a steady beat on the stereo.

"Please tell me he's not going to do that Robin Thicke song again," Wes moaned, watching as the junior Warbler straightened his tie and jumped on the senior classmen's table. "Hey! Get down, fool. You're going to break it," he snapped, grabbing his gavel off the countertop and whacking it loudly thrice on the desk.

"And, obviously unlike you," sighed an irritated David, barely looking up from his AP Physics textbook, "some of us are trying to study for the finals that are _next week, _in case you've forgotten."

Blaine proudly grinned from his claimed spot, for once taller than the other students. "Exactly! You're all so stressed, so I figured that a song wouldn't hurt the mood."

Thad slammed shut his Calculus notes, glaring up at the much too chipper Warbler. "We're trying to concentrate, Blaine. Just sit down and wait until we have time next we-"

He hadn't been able to finish his sentence before Blaine's voice filled the common's room. "Let's get down to business," he sang out, smashing his fist into his palm at the same time that Wes smacked his gavel once more, "to defeat the Huns!"

"And by Huns, I'm sure you mean essay questions on the tests," Trent quipped frustrated, rolling his annoyed chocolate brown eyes at the soloist. While he was usually the first one to back Blaine up, there wasn't time for an impromptu Mulan performance today.

"Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?" Blaine rang out stomping his foot on the mahogany desk. "You're the saddest bunch I ever met!"

"Oh, pipe it, Blaine!" yelled Jeff from the back of the room, although he'd already started giggling at Blaine's intensity. "You're just as flamboyant as the rest of us." A chorus of laughter followed his comment.

Blaine leaped off the table, his eyes fiercely locked on the cocky blonde. He stormed towards his arms thrown into the air in mock anger. "But you can bet before we're through, mister, I'll make a man out of you!"

As daft as the Dalton Academy students thought the performance was, they couldn't help but begin to smile at what was going to occur, whether they liked it or not. Blaine continued, face to face with the mouthy catcaller in the back of the room. Jabbing his forefinger into Jeff's chest, "Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within," he belted out, thumping his chest with his other hand.

"Your heart's on the other side, Blaine," Kurt cackled from the burgundy loveseat, as Blaine quickly switched his position but stayed in character the entire time. He couldn't help but be impressed by his dedication to the character.

"Once you find your center, you are sure to win. You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot," he piped spinning around on his heels, a furious look plastered across his face. Spreading his arms wide, he indicated that the last bit was addressed to them.

"Boo!" the Warblers yelled loudly, thrusting their fists at him in fury.

Blaine ignored their criticism, and put his hands on his hipbones. "And you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man out of you!"

It had proved to be impossible for the rest of them to stay agitated at him, and they were dragged into the spectacle themselves. They all tossed their notebooks and study guides to the sides and jumped out of their seats.

Flint leaned over and put his hands on his knees, pretending to wipe sweat off his forehead in agony. "I'm never going to catch my breath," his tenor harmonized.

"Say good-bye to those who knew me!" Wesley cried, waving his arm in the air in faux surrender.

"Boy, I was a fool in school for cutting gym," groaned Nick as he flopped onto the floor in exhaustion.

Andrew put his hand over his chest and threw his head back, as if he were terribly amused by the other's pain. "This guy's got 'em scared to death!"

Kurt's palm disguised his face as he turned away in shame, "Hope he doesn't see right through me," he trilled, reaching the high notes as if they were a piece of cake.

"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!" Trent groaned, running his hands through his hair in horror.

"To be a man!" the pupils came together for the chorus, every individual voice blending together in their raging state.

"We must be swift as the coursing river!" Blaine joined in once more, emphasizing every syllable with dramatic arm motions and jumps into the air.

"To be a man!"

"With all the force of a great typhoon!" he leapt onto the sofa, as if he were King Arthur being raised above all his subjects.

"To be a man!" David smacked the shorter boy on the back off the antique furniture, making him stumble off the couch but still landing crookedly on his feet.

Blaine didn't let it faze him, "With all the strength of a raging fire! Mysterious as the dark side of the moon," he yelled in tune, squeezing his eyes passionately. 'Time is racing toward us till the Huns arrive. Heed my every order and you might survive!"

The Warblers surrounded Blaine, stepping over their freshly forgotten schoolbags. Kneeling on the floor next to him, they hummed and whistled the orchestral part in accompaniment.

"You're unsuited for the rage of war. So pack up, go home, you're through," Blaine scowled, banishing them with a flick of his hand. As soon as he had, the males below him gripped their chests and fell over in rejection. "How could I make a man out of you?"

"To be a man!" they sang as they simultaneously whipped themselves back onto their feet.

"We must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon," he reprised, grabbing Kurt and Jeff's hands and forcing them to mightily punch the air. The duo had a difficult time disguising their amusement, and chortled at the entire thing.

"To be a man!" Once the two of them had begun giggling, the rest of them began to fall apart in laughter.

"We must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire," they all yelled in unison, giving the last chorus all their energy and volume, "mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"

The boys all tried to stay in character, holding their last pose as seriously as they could. After about two seconds, Flint, Nick and David were the first to lose their somberness, cracking up almost as loudly as they'd been singing. Soon, the Dalton Academy commons room was bursting with cachinnation, all of them patting each other on the back for their impromptu performance. The non-Warblers who had surrounded the entrances began to clap enthusiastically, applause and whistles adding to the atmosphere.

A gavel struck something solid, and everyone turned to Wesley. "Oh, come on, Wes, even you have to admit that was fun," Thad directed at the upperclassman.

Wes raised his hands in the hair innocently, "Don't look at me! I didn't do it."

The noise died down quickly, as everyone turned to the desk at the head of the room. Blaine sat in the center seat, arms crossed sternly. "Back to your positions, men. It's time to get down to business, if we're going to defeat these finals."


End file.
